Autism - The Baseball Analogy
March 20, 2006 by Do'C 
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What does it mean to have a child “diagnosed” with autism?
I like to use what I’ll call, “The Baseball Analogy”.
Now I am most definitely not a sports fan, I just don’t get sports. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy participation - I grew up in southern California with “Surf P.E.” at a local break every other morning. But as for watching sports, following sports scores, reading a sports page, etc., I just don’t get it.
I like to think I know enough about baseball from my little league days, to describe this as I intend. For me, the early recognition of the characteristics of autism was a pretty simple process of denial. My wife persisted, and after a lot of persuasion, we took our son for a visit to a local reputable child psychologist (after a wait of several months for an appointment). I was not prepared for the conclusions presented in that visit.
In the world of baseball, it’s what you’d call a Curveball.
Although I had no knowledge of this at the time, the Dr. we saw apparently has some sort of reputation in the community as a “Doom and Gloom” doctor. I don’t think that at all, in fact I found our doctor’s manner quite factual, unwilling to allow for speculation, and essentially “by the book” when it came to documentation, DSM criteria, other attributes, scoring of tests, and professional integrity.
I see it plausible that any parent could have heard the following diagnosis of our son in two very different ways. Note: This only applies to human parents (subject to emotion, expectation, and social filters). My comments do not apply to robots or aliens.
The ball curves one way…
The Doctor
Your son is autistic. He isn’t interested in any communication with us.
He is consistently spinning things, and you will see additional things like hand flapping.
Us
What does this mean, if it turns out that has autism?
The Doctor
He is different, you may feel like you’ll want to give him back. There is mental retardation. It will mean difficulty in school.
Us
Oh No! (with some unavoidable tears of fear and uncertainty)
What does this mean for our son as he grows older, what will his life be like?
The Doctor
I can’t answer that, but you’ll know.
Us
Okay, what can we expect with autism?
The Doctor
I can only tell you: Autistics don’t marry. Autistics don’t smoke. Autistics live with parents or a caregiver for life. Autistics can communicate, although communication is not easy.
The ball curves the other way…
The Doctor
Your son definitely shows many of the signs of that would indicate autism as the most likely appropriate diagnosis. He isn’t appearing interested in us or any communication from us. He is consistently spinning things, and you may, or may not eventually see additional things like hand flapping.
Us
What does this mean, if it turns out that he does have autism?
The Doctor
It simply means that he has several traits that most people will view as different. But he is lovable, you’ll never want to give him back will you?
There is possibility of mild mental retardation. It will mean needing to be open to addressing potential difficulties in school on his behalf, and helping him when he needs it.
Us
Oh no! (with some unavoidable tears of fear and uncertainty)
What does this mean for our son he grows older, what will his life be like?
The Doctor
You, know, I just can’t answer that, because I don’t know. But you will know. When he gets there, you’ll know, he’ll do a good job of letting you know, you won’t have to wonder.
Okay, what can we expect with autism?
The Doctor
I can only tell you a little about what I do know, based on information we have today. People with autism typically don’t marry. People with autism typically don’t smoke. People with autism often live with parents or a caregiver for most of their life. People with autism can be happy. People with autism can communicate, although communication is not always easy to accomplish in a way that you’ll want. It will just depend on him.
Back to the baseball.
Regardless of which way anyone else might see (or hear) this kind of diagnosis for the first time, it was curveball to us. I’m not intending to criticize anyone who would see this conversation one way or the other. We are all human and all different. There is no right and wrong in how you first hear this. It ain’t winning the lottery to many, but that doesn’t mean it is a sentence to a life of misery by any means either.
It is a curveball - period.
Many curveballs become homeruns.
The ball is already on the way, all that matters now is what the hitter does.
In my lame analogy (I’m sorry sports just aren’t my thing) I’d actually expand to suggest that life in general, and especially life with autism in the family, can seem a non-stop barage of curveballs.
Learning which ones not to swing at, is important too - letting the pitches that aren’t strikes, float on by, counts.
Read up on alternative medicine, treatment scams, and quackery - be skeptical. Understand meltdowns and stims before you swing (figuratively) at them. Skip enough of the crappy pitches and you will walk and take a base (helping others on base too).
Base hits count.
Celebrate small successes, encourage happiness, foster learning and appropriate proportion of fun. Speak out on behalf all children, especially if they’re your own.
Sometimes bunting works too.
I’m not sure how that fits into my anaolgy though.
Batter Up!
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Comment by Emily — 21 March, 2006 @ 2:17 am
I like it, well the 2nd doc anyway! I wish more docs would advise parents wanting to help their children to be sceptical.
I can’t comment on the accuracy of your analogy, I know zero about baseball, well apart from what I picked up from various American films
Comment by Bronwyn G — 21 March, 2006 @ 2:36 am
And in life we have a low batting average, don’t we?
When life throws you a lemon, you make lemonade or some other highly profitable soft drink with a secret recipe.
I think autism is like a secret recipe.
Comment by Bonnie Ventura — 21 March, 2006 @ 9:20 am
I wouldn’t describe your doctor as doom and gloom, either; there are certainly much worse predictions out there. Still, I don’t think it’s helpful to throw around broad stereotypes about what could happen in the future, even if they are worded in generally neutral terms. There’s no way of knowing what any child will grow up to do, and what parents really need is specific information about a child’s needs at his actual age.
For example, instead of saying “people with autism typically don’t smoke,” which gives the parents no information that would be of value in raising a young child, it would be much more helpful to explain that autistics are likely to be sensitive to strong odors, etc., and that an autistic child probably will be more comfortable in an environment that is free of cigarette smoke, perfume, cleaning products with strong fragrances, and so forth.
Comment by Ruth — 21 March, 2006 @ 10:32 am
MY doc refused to predict the future, but did say that since my daughter was verbal, and getting helped at a young age, her chances of a good outcome were better. That’s fine with me. Don’t promise me a cure, but tell me what you do know can improve the odds. We moved to a school district with some of the best special ed teachers I’ve ever met. My husband and I modified our expectations, and found she would try to cooperate if the goals were reasonable. She is now social enough to torment her little sister, just like normal sibs.
Just when we thought everything is OK, I think she is starting puberty. Don’t know how I will deal with that curveball!
Comment by Dad Of Cameron — 21 March, 2006 @ 10:51 am
Hi Emily, Thanks for the comment. My analogy could be pretty weak - I really don’t know sports that well. At any rate as I understand it, in baseball, curveballs are just a fact (not inherently negative) - how you learn to look at them coming at you is what matters
Bronwyn G, I like the secret recipe idea.
Hi Bonnie, You know, our doctor really didn’t spend a lot of time on anything stereotypical - although she did in fact discuss a few stereotypical things in neutral terms. As I remeber it (from a year ago), she was very clear about not speculating, and offered much more in the way of resources and information that were age appropriate. I was trying to pull out 2 minutes of a 1 hour conversation (as I remeber it from a year ago), to exemplify the possibility that many different people could see such a diagnosis many different ways (and be persuaded by stereotypes). Our doctor was quite helpful in my opinion. Could she avoid all stereotypes in the course of her practice? Maybe, actually probably.
Hi Ruth, modifying your own expectations (and building real understanding?), now that’s reality that works. Puberty? Yikes! - Autism or neurotypical, life’s curveballs persist.